If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
