You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
