I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize
