my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
