The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
