Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Say something about gay babies.
worst night to have a conscience
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
