we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
