oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
