maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
