How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
