Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
