Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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