I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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