Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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