Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
