smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
