I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
