I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
