4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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