So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
