How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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