32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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