He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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