I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
