I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
