tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
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