Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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