Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
