would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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