She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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