"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
