your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
