I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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