I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I need moral support for this bender
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
