Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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