Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Randomize
