So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
