discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
this is an emotional support booty call
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
