goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
