Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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