O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
