I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
operation have a gay friend backfired
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
