Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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