David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
