Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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