i don't plan on having that self control this summer
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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