I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
you had me at cake vodka
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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