I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
