Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
