Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
