Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
...so i touched it.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
and i looked up. we had an audience...
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
