If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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