to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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