Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
